


Sea Is

by TheVesselFamily



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Casual, Crying, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, talk about suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 10:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVesselFamily/pseuds/TheVesselFamily
Summary: Evan loves days like these, when warm rain sprinkles his star-clad face, even though the sun casts a thermal glaze of colour over each and every meter of frigid water.(AU where Evan likes water instead of Trees)(Alt. Titled; I'll send you pictures of the most amazing seas)





	Sea Is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheMcBunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMcBunny/gifts).



> Hello.  
> It's kind of a Songfic, even though I wouldn't consider it that way. It's a little bit based off a song the weeb made me listen to, but mostly off a reservoir my track team runs up to. It's a beautiful place, every time of day it's beautiful and I love it there. I run up there for conditioning to, since it's so close to my house. Anyway, for the weeb; McBunny, who have me love and this idea, probably not what you were thinking, but oh, well.  
> Suicide/Suicidal Talk TW.  
> Title from the song "Sea Is," by Kikuo.

Evan loves days like these, when warm rain sprinkles his star-clad face, even though the sun casts a thermal glaze of colour over each and every meter of frigid water. _How does that saying go? Right, "when the devil marries his wife,"_ interesting saying, but an effective one none the less. Evan can't help but let out a satisfied sigh, _What a better way to go, hm? Standing in your favourite place, at your favourite time, in your favourite weather._

He can't fight back the snug feeling rising in his chest. He remembers he first time he was brought to the shore, standing here with his dad. "See that, Ev?" He would say, reaching out an open palm, gesturing to anywhere. "N-no, what is s'it?" Evan still didn't understand why his dad brought him out so far, so early. It was raining, he had to squint so the freezing, hail like drops wouldn't get into his eyes. He was cold, so cold, in fact, his teeth were chattering in protest, and he couldn't help but to mash his words together.

"Don't you think, Ev, that the sea may be alive?" Evan didn't quite understand the question. "No," he looked up, confused at his dad's odd behavior. His dad chuckled softly, "really, you don't see it?" He'd say, picking Evan up, holding him with one arm when his son wrapped himself around his dad. As if on queue, the sun rose out of the clouds, covering them both with cozy feelings, as the rain got warmer, Evan felt surprised, he was elated, even though he was still gelid, he felt warm and safe, he looked out to the reservoir, he felt as though the ripples of water were waving at him, he felt delighted, and couldn't slow down the ear-to-ear grin that split his face in two. "Can we hurry this up, you two?" His mom yelled at the both beaming boys, "it's getting really cold!" She said through chuckles. "'Course Heidi! We'll be there in a bit!" His dad yelled back as Heidi climbed into the car, "see it now, Ev?" He set Evan down gently, as Evan beamed up at him, nodding with such vigor, he got a little dizzy.

 "Hey," a voice came, slapping Evan out of thought so fast, he thought he would fall down. The voice was slow, uninterested. Evan whipped around so fast the voice's person had to reach out an arm to make sure he wouldn't fall. "Woah, are you alright? You're crying." And so he was. Evan only realized he was crying when the person speaking pointed it out. He wiped his face with his hands, then his sleeve, but they wouldn't stop.  _Why am I crying? There's no reason to. I'm not scared, or anything._ But he didn't know how to stop.

The boy, Evan assumes, blurs in Evan's vision, become a blob of mixing colours, "uh," the blob comes a little closer, rubbing his thumbs against Evan's eyes, helping him wipe his tears very quickly. "I'm fine, th-anks." Evan chokes out. "Uh, are you sure?" The blob says, "cause, like, you don't seem fine." 

Evan's tears end up drying out in time, and the blob of colour becomes clearer, a boy with soft brown hair, pale skin, and a black hoodie. Evan's pretty sure he's seen him at school through his hopeful gazes at Zoe Murphy, maybe this boy was talking to her, is he her boyfriend? Damn, Evan doesn't stand a chance against this dude, he and his perfect skin, shining just right in the sunlight, his beautiful, silk-like hair, reflecting the tepid colours in a paradisal way, "I'm Connor," he said, waving in an awkward way, Evan noticed he's been staring, and he looks away in short order. "I- uh I'm Evan. Hansen, Evan Hansen." Evan retracts hastily, realizing Connor didn't tell him his last name. "Oh, Murphy." Murphy? Okay, so he's most likely Zoe's brother, cool. 

"Wanna talk about it?" Connor sits down next to Evan, putting his hands behind himself, and staring out into the water, he's beautiful, Evan thinks, but that's weird, so never mind.

"Uh, about what?" Evan feels stupid, out of loop. "Why you were sobbing over the edge of a cliff, the will lead to your inevitable doom. You weren't going to jump, were you?" Connor looked over, the first sign of sympathy, Evan thought. "Is that bad?" 

"Kind of, but I can't really bash you for it, I was going to, also, so." 

"Oh, well, now neither of us can." 

"Unless we do it at the same time."

"I'm not really feeling up to it." 

"Me neither."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Evan never though a silence could be so loud, it was like he could hear every thought Connor had, every passing moment Evan felt as though he was walking on clouds, he never imagined having a comfortable silence, neither of them had to talk. He felt himself get drowsier, he placed his head in Connor's lap, feeling his eye lids grow heavier with every soft circle drawn in his back, every delicate comb through his hair.

"Do you want to go get ice cream? There's a nice a la mode near here."

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmm.  
> Not very sad, I know, I felt like putting very fluffy cotton at the end.  
> I wanted to explore Evan's relationship with his dad in this, before he went off to marry the cocktail waitress, I mean. McBunny was jamming to j-pop trash when 'Sea Is' came on and I just couldn't stop writing. I hope you enjoyed! ;;;;********


End file.
